Scotch Preserve Us
The horse and mule live 30 years
And know nothing of wine and beers.
The goat and sheep at 20 die
With never a taste of Scotch or rye.
The cow drinks water by the ton
And at 18 is nearly done.
The dog at 16 cashes in
Without a taste of rum or gin.
The cat in milk and water soaks,
And in 12 short years it croaks.
The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for nog, then dies at ten.
All the animals are strictly dry -
They sinless live and swiftly die.
And sinful, ginful, rumsoaked men
Survive for three-score years and ten.
But McCoy, with the magic of his Scottish dew,
Will likely stay pickled 'til a hundred and two.
(except for the 'McCoy' insertion)
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